Breaking with Tradition

My beliefs are evolving. It is something I can't deny any longer. I wonder at myself for believing that they might remain static. Lately I have been questioning everything, both practically and spiritually. I just came to the conclusion that there is a need somewhere in me to move forward. I want to molt, to shed the past and move forward. The longer this year continues the more I realize that change and evolution is exactly what is in store for my life this year. And for the first time I am ready and willing to change.

My belief in the Vanir and what they stand for does not change, but I find myself increasingly at odds with the Norse tradition in general. I feel as if I have gone as far with it as I can, and am eager to explore more of the world. I will always be pagan, yet I find myself needing to expand my path in different directions. Even more pressing is the need to question, to challenge, to truly get to the core of my own belief.

Maybe it is the dormancy of the land this season which affects me the most. As someone deeply connected to elemental earth, I cannot help but feel the growing need to break loose from the silent earth and grow. The prospect of that green explosion which will burst over this land in a few months excites me every year sine birth, yet I feel that this year it will bring and even deeper awakening to my spirit.

I have decided that this year I am freeing myself from focusing too intently on interpretation of sources. I am taking a step back from mythos and all its riddles. Instead I am going to focus on practicality. I want to focus on what is meaningful to me. I want to experiment with energy and material and see what becomes meaningful. I want to live and breath my spirituality rather than simply think it. I want to wipe the dust from my tools and get my hands dirty.

I'm going back to my element and following that to whatever discoveries may await me. I'm keeping my options open and following the sunlight wherever it may take me.

The oracle at Delphi called Socrates the wisest man alive during his lifetime. Socrates himself questioned this and found it at first a ridiculous idea. It was not until Socrates realized that his awareness of the brevity of his own knowledge was precisely what made him wise, did he understand the meaning of the oracle's words. Socrates realized that he might study for ages and yet his own knowledge would always be limited to the breadth of one mind. In short, he realized the limitation of his mental ability. He realized that knowledge as a whole made even the most brilliant ideas but a flicker of light in the dark.

I am beginning to understand the relevance of this in my own life. No amount of scholarship and research will ever bring me to the core of my beliefs. I will probably never have the answers. But I can live, I can explore, I can grow, and I can question. I can do this until I find my own satisfaction in life. Tradition is meaningless to me if it does nothing to better my own experience and understanding.

I am moving away from tradition, and getting back to the business of living.

In frith
Cena