eXpectation versus Reality: Take it easy on yourself
Yes, I cheated a bit on the X topic, but really how many words are relevant to paganism that start with X? Not many in my path anyway.
This post is about what is going on in my own life and I'm sure those of many others at this time of year. I always get a little *twitchy during the holiday season because it always seems like so much culminates at this time of year. It is a time of high demand for most of us in the western world. School finals, increased demands at work, lots of social activities and demands. Top that off with our spiritual desires of creating a holiday with meaning for ourselves, not to mention combining that with more mainstream holiday practices which are still the primary concern for friends and family.
I often am hard on myself at this time simply because I am just not able to combine it all and still focus primarily on my own pagan path. At the mo I have been feeling guilty for not working a much with the gods, as well as a lack of posting here on my web site, and an utter inability to see that my expectation for writing a book on the Vanir Glyphs by mid December seems more like a fantasy. I just don't have enough hours in the day to complete a fraction of what I would like. I realized today that my expectations have to be scaled back in order to complete my finals work this semester. Slacking off in the beginning of the classes has led me to this. I don't feel bad about it really, which is something strange for me.
Usually I am nearly insane with worry this time of year. But for some reason this year I feel more willing to go with the flow. I realize by now that no matter what, I always pull through. The gods will forgive me for focusing on the priorities of my own life for a few weeks, even if it means a Yule ritual that doesn't blow anyone's socks off. All they ask is that what we do comes from the heart. They don't care, as long as it is meaningful.
I have to thank Mr. OD for some of that. He's just so damn supportive and encouraging, after almost three years together I have finally come to a place where I realize that he's a very wise man. Wise in that he isn't fazed by the flow of time and challenges. Wise in that he communicates sincerely the truth I should know but could never believe on my own. I always come through it all shiningly.
I feel a strong sense of love and contentment this year that I haven't felt in many many years. I realize that after all the effort and stress of the holidays before, I never let myself feel a sense of pride in the years work behind me, and the family and loved ones who stood beside me through it all.
Most of all, I never realized we all have to learn to take it easy on ourself.
I wish you all a great upcoming Yule season, and encourage you to take a few moments a day to do something relaxing simple for yourself.
In Frith
Cena
I often am hard on myself at this time simply because I am just not able to combine it all and still focus primarily on my own pagan path. At the mo I have been feeling guilty for not working a much with the gods, as well as a lack of posting here on my web site, and an utter inability to see that my expectation for writing a book on the Vanir Glyphs by mid December seems more like a fantasy. I just don't have enough hours in the day to complete a fraction of what I would like. I realized today that my expectations have to be scaled back in order to complete my finals work this semester. Slacking off in the beginning of the classes has led me to this. I don't feel bad about it really, which is something strange for me.
Usually I am nearly insane with worry this time of year. But for some reason this year I feel more willing to go with the flow. I realize by now that no matter what, I always pull through. The gods will forgive me for focusing on the priorities of my own life for a few weeks, even if it means a Yule ritual that doesn't blow anyone's socks off. All they ask is that what we do comes from the heart. They don't care, as long as it is meaningful.
I have to thank Mr. OD for some of that. He's just so damn supportive and encouraging, after almost three years together I have finally come to a place where I realize that he's a very wise man. Wise in that he isn't fazed by the flow of time and challenges. Wise in that he communicates sincerely the truth I should know but could never believe on my own. I always come through it all shiningly.
I feel a strong sense of love and contentment this year that I haven't felt in many many years. I realize that after all the effort and stress of the holidays before, I never let myself feel a sense of pride in the years work behind me, and the family and loved ones who stood beside me through it all.
Most of all, I never realized we all have to learn to take it easy on ourself.
I wish you all a great upcoming Yule season, and encourage you to take a few moments a day to do something relaxing simple for yourself.
In Frith
Cena
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