Loki Rape? Traveling the Worlds and our Encounters

Loki by Thalia Took

I was recently directed to a post about a former Lokeans personal experience which has been stirring up some controversy in heathen circles, especially due to the ongoing debate between the Troth and Lokeans who feel they are not being given a fair representation within these organizations. This post really hit home for me due to some of my own experiences, especially some fairly recent ones, that I feel are good jumping off points for discussing our interactions with those outside of Midgard, and the dangers we can encounter.

The original post can be read here at Burnt Bridges. To concisely summarize (I recommend reading it for yourself), this individual was a longtime Lokean. They describe themselves as extremely dedicated to him in many ways. Yet recently this individual's partner was sexually and physically assaulted in a dream by Loki. This experience was so intense and real for the victim that it has left many scars. As a result of this attack, the devotee of Loki decided that they should no longer interact with Loki in any way, shape, or form. In essence, the partner's spiritual rape has led  them to believe that they were betrayed in the utmost by Loki himself.

Reading the post itself, I felt very sad, and in my opinion felt no doubt that this attack was real and had truly damaged the individual and their partner's life. It is hard to imagine what I feel if such a thing happened to me, which I felt was a direct result of the betrayal of my trusted Gods. I truly feel my life would be turned upside down, and my heart broken.

At the same time I felt very confused about what the individual described. We all know Loki has quite a reputation, but I personally have never felt the need to demonize Loki for his actions, especially when I feel Odin was responsible for much of what transpired in regards to his own influence on Loki. Which makes it all the more confusing for me...Why would a God betray a loyal follower? Why attack the person's partner? Why such an extreme experience? It makes little sense to me, regardless of the fact that Loki is notorious for  his strange and at times aggressive mischief making.

The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli

It also got to me due to my own experience which happened only a few days ago. I had an absolutely horrible nightmare in which my own daughter was attacked by a pair of small zombielike creatures. In the dream I was helpless to stop them, but my daughter was strong enough to break free of them. The dream itself was not that horrible but the vision of these creatures and their appearance was so vivid it struck terror in me. I am still having some trouble sleeping, as their faces and gaping mouths are still plastered on my memory.

When I woke from the dream, I found that my dogs where sitting together next to the bed, staring at nothing, as if highly alert. Within several minutes I heard movement in other areas of the house, though my daughter was fast asleep and no one else was there. My dogs jumped at every sound, to be honest they were probably the only reason I felt I had not totally lost it, as I could tell they were seeing and experiencing the same things I was feeling, and were staying close to me and my daughter (one of my three dogs had taken up watch on the end of my daughter's bed. Two were with me in my room.)

After a bit they seemed to calm, and the noises stopped for the most part. I went to turn on another lamp, whose bulb I had replaced only a week before. Of course the bulb was dead! lol. I decided then an there it was time for a cleansing, which I performed with some burning sage and steaming of some purification herbs. After a time I felt that the energy had left the home. I was meditating on what had happened and examining the memory of these creatures. What were they? the word "IMP" popped into my head. I had heard the word before but knew nothing about them. So like any good heathen, I googled it. LOL

I was a little shocked to learn that the imp is a common variety of folkloric little person, of GERMANIC origin. It was also shocking to learn that in many tales, the imp is actually a being which is owned by a sorcerer, and which is sent out to do their bidding. I was a little comforted by the assurance that the creatures were simply mischievous, rather than capable of much harm. In essence they simply act out of a need for human attention, and enjoy fucking with our heads, so to speak. But the image I saw on the site was shocking, a sculpture of an imp from a cathedral. It was nearly identical to the creatures I had seen in my dream.

The Lincoln Cathedral imp

Even though it was days ago now, I still am struggling with the memories and fear created by that dream. I have had anxiety attacks twice since then, and haven't felt comfortable. I was changing a bulb in my daughter's room two days ago and the glass bulb cover on the ceiling fan, a portion of which was broken, fell off and nearly sliced my face open. Fortunately it missed and struck my chest, leaving a small cut. Since I was bleeding already, I used a drop or two to trace a couple runes and a small hammer around the main doorways of the house. Since then it has been very calm, and I feel certain the "imps" have gone. But I am still left with the memory, and the questions.

So where is this all leading? Well, my own experience made me think about what the person's partner had experienced, essentially a dream rape. I don't question the fact that a person can be assaulted, with detrimental emotional results, as I have experienced it more than once. I have also been left with unexplained scratches and other minor physical marks, in regards usually to deceased human spirit activity. There are events which happened which would make me question my own sanity, had I not been in the company of others who witnessed the same as I had. So I have no desire to argue about whether such things exist, or deny/confirm anyone's experience of them on a personal level.

What this all made me think of is the nature of our experiences with other realms of existence, and how we experience and interact with them. I do not believe in good and evil spirits or wights. But I do believe there are beings which are benevolent in nature, and others which are bent on creating chaos, especially for human beings on this plane. When we project our immaterial self outward, be it to simply travel the worlds, or interact with our Gods, we must realize the risk involved.

Several times I have encountered in meditation beings who claimed to be what they were not. Wights that masquerade as Gods or beloved dead simply because of their need to create emotional turmoil in us. These experiences and the questions I have about the experience the poster details have made me question if this may not be the case. How can we be sure of what we see? The truth is we can't, and if we can, it is not through sight alone. It takes time, experience, and a healthy dose of skepticism when it comes to dealing with those from another world.

Many of us come from a christian background, and we still carry this ideal that we can simply pray, and interact with the divine without risk, in utmost safety. However it is my belief that when we interact with the heathen gods, we are in essence traveling to their world. Which means that we are in a place utterly unfamiliar, and unbound by the laws of nature we take for granted. We are vulnerable, and at times their is little we can do about it. It is the price we pay to know the Gods. Yet so much of the ritual practice of heathen and pagan beliefs centers on the idea of offering to the Gods, a gift for a gift. What I see is that many do not seem to realize that simply getting there, and speaking to the Gods, is a gift in itself. And if we do not respond in kind, then we may be leaving ourselves without the valuable protection they can offer us.

Our animal and ancestral fylgjur can be be important
allies which can guide us as we travel the worlds. 

Also, I feel that our focus is lost in some cases. We often run straight to the gods, yet neglect those other beings which offer us the protection and security which allows us safe passage, or at least a small measure of security, so to speak. How many claim dedication to one or many of the Gods,yet give little thought to the land wights, the disir, the ancestors, and the alfs? I have found (through the turmoil of experience) that these beings are much closer to us for a reason. These beings, and our relationship with them, are the same ones that can protect us when we fly into the unknown. The reciprocal nature of humans with the land, with our blood ties, is part of the cycle which enables Midgard to exist. Without them we cannot survive, and without us, do they exist at all? These being are what links us to wyrd, and in turn what links us to the Gods themselves.

The main point of this post is to enhance awareness, for myself and others. Be aware that we cannot box the behavior of other worlds into an understanding based solely in our own realm. Be aware that their are beings which exist unseen and unknown. Be aware that skepticism is not a fault, but an important tool in our interactions with other worlds. Be aware that before you meet the Gods, it is important to strengthen the ties that bind us in our own world. Be aware that science and metaphysics are not opponents, and that in both sides we might hear the utterances of another. Be aware that every experience you have in the Worlds will not be positive, not by far. Often times we are exposed to that which we fear most, because in experience of it we are strengthened. It is part of the learning process.