Samhain: I feel like Hel...
Though Samhain is not a heathen holiday, I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Samhain.
I feel it is relevant to say a few words about the importance of ancestor worship during this time of year. Because of some recent dreams I have had, I have been exploring my roots more deeply the past few days and uncovering some interesting things. Whether one is celebrating Hallows Eve, Winter Nights, Samhain, it becomes clear that this time of year is one in which our heathen and pagan predecessors in Europe sensed the spirits of the deceased and their ancestors more strongly than other times of year. For some reason I have felt particularly sensitive to these changes this year.
My mother and I were speaking yesterday about familial spirits and the ways they contact us, which is odd considering that my mother is Christian, though in a highly secular sense as many modern individuals are. We happened to be watching a show about medium-ship on television when she began to talk about how she felt certain deceased loved ones kept themselves close about her, and she sensed their loving presence quite often.
This is something that was comforting to me. Mainly because my mother does not really have any intimate knowledge of my particular path, besides the fact that she is aware I am emphatically NON-CHRISTIAN. And on some level she would characterize witchcraft and such as a bunch of mumbo jumbo. So to hear her speak openly about her own experience of perceiving spirits was reaffirming to me.
I have no intention to speak about the abilities I struggle with since childhood, and the level of discomfort they at times bring me. What I will say is that I find that since I have known Freyja, I have come to accept them in a sense, and it seems to me that their is a slow progression towards being comfortable with such abilities. One of the great things about Freyja is that she has a way of pushing one beyond their comfort level, one step at a time, while offering a place of security and safety along the way.
For me, the conflict between the rational, objective mind and the intuitive, subjective knowing is often excruciating. I often find myself dejected by the grey areas, which are many, which exist between physical and spiritual experience. I find myself constantly bombarded with sensory information from a realm which my rational, logical mind would like to convince me doesn't exist. And underneath it all is the knowing that the spirit world is as real as this one, and those who reside their are speaking across the boundaries.
All this has contributed to a sudden feeling of profundity this year with the thinning of the veil and thoughts of the ancestors. I know in my heart that it is time that I pay much closer attention to where and who I have come from. I realize that my ancestors are the link between these two conflicting worlds. And I know that it is time to form a deeper relationship with them, and begin to heal the psychic rift within me. I feel that only their knowledge and healing can help me over come these feelings of fear and uncertainty which I am faced with when those two worlds collide.
In a sense I feel as if I am caught between two worlds. I feel like Hel today.
Two hours of sleep doesn't cut it for this heathen.
In Frith
Cena
I feel it is relevant to say a few words about the importance of ancestor worship during this time of year. Because of some recent dreams I have had, I have been exploring my roots more deeply the past few days and uncovering some interesting things. Whether one is celebrating Hallows Eve, Winter Nights, Samhain, it becomes clear that this time of year is one in which our heathen and pagan predecessors in Europe sensed the spirits of the deceased and their ancestors more strongly than other times of year. For some reason I have felt particularly sensitive to these changes this year.
My mother and I were speaking yesterday about familial spirits and the ways they contact us, which is odd considering that my mother is Christian, though in a highly secular sense as many modern individuals are. We happened to be watching a show about medium-ship on television when she began to talk about how she felt certain deceased loved ones kept themselves close about her, and she sensed their loving presence quite often.
This is something that was comforting to me. Mainly because my mother does not really have any intimate knowledge of my particular path, besides the fact that she is aware I am emphatically NON-CHRISTIAN. And on some level she would characterize witchcraft and such as a bunch of mumbo jumbo. So to hear her speak openly about her own experience of perceiving spirits was reaffirming to me.
I have no intention to speak about the abilities I struggle with since childhood, and the level of discomfort they at times bring me. What I will say is that I find that since I have known Freyja, I have come to accept them in a sense, and it seems to me that their is a slow progression towards being comfortable with such abilities. One of the great things about Freyja is that she has a way of pushing one beyond their comfort level, one step at a time, while offering a place of security and safety along the way.
For me, the conflict between the rational, objective mind and the intuitive, subjective knowing is often excruciating. I often find myself dejected by the grey areas, which are many, which exist between physical and spiritual experience. I find myself constantly bombarded with sensory information from a realm which my rational, logical mind would like to convince me doesn't exist. And underneath it all is the knowing that the spirit world is as real as this one, and those who reside their are speaking across the boundaries.
All this has contributed to a sudden feeling of profundity this year with the thinning of the veil and thoughts of the ancestors. I know in my heart that it is time that I pay much closer attention to where and who I have come from. I realize that my ancestors are the link between these two conflicting worlds. And I know that it is time to form a deeper relationship with them, and begin to heal the psychic rift within me. I feel that only their knowledge and healing can help me over come these feelings of fear and uncertainty which I am faced with when those two worlds collide.
In a sense I feel as if I am caught between two worlds. I feel like Hel today.
Two hours of sleep doesn't cut it for this heathen.
In Frith
Cena
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