Loyalty

Loyalty is by far one of my highest held values, as woman, a heathen, and a human being. It is something that for me has always been a deal breaker in my relationships with others. Now I am not speaking of some blind, instantaneous following of someone simply because one has a social interaction with them. The loyalty that I speak of is earned, much like trust. It comes from a sense of closeness, intimacy, and devotion that is developed over time. It is not something to be given lightly, but rather, is in my mind as binding as an oath.

As a heathen, my concept of loyalty is bound up in my understanding of kinship and frith. Of course, my perspective is a more modern understanding of these terms. I cannot pretend to live in modern times as the Norsemen did over a thousand years ago. But regardless of the change in definition of the terms, upholding them is still of vast importance to me.

In those days, the ties of one's blood kin were considered unbreakable. Any man (or woman) might be held responsible for the actions of their kin. Also, there is no denying times were hard beyond any of our wildest dreams today. The need for a sense of loyalty and community involvement was one upon which life depended. Loyalty was tantamount to survival. The ties of blood and oath is what held the society together.

Much has changed for us now. Our families have been split and divided into small functional units. The economy of the industrial and technological age has enabled us to become less dependent on each other, and in many cases this means the larger extended family is broken down. Ancestry is of importance only if the connection is direct and tangible. The very idea of kinship has changed. Kinship is now not only relegated to blood ties, but in many cases lays more heavily wrapped up in our mutual friendships, romantic involvements, and those we are involved with on a daily basis.

To me, there are both positives and negatives to these changes. They enable us to be free from the bonds of those who may be our blood kin, but whom we clash with. We are not expected to pay for the crimes of another simply because they are our blood relation (outside of our children in some cases). We can develop a kinship that is more reflective of our own loves, desires, passions, ideals, and friendships. We are much freer in this sense.

The loss comes with that feeling of isolation we have from our past, our blood family, our ancestors. Oftentimes this means a disconnect with the natural as we move from place to place rather than stay central in an area which in earlier times would have been our family lands. It is a disconnect from the great dis of our family lines, as we lose touch with the very history of our family itself. Who among us now can name their ancestors beyond a few generations past?

Regardless of these changes in the concept of kinship, loyalty is a value to me that is still and always will be sacred. Whether they are of my blood or of my heart, my kin are those to which I hold my highest loyalty. They are those who I find worthy of devotion, and who feel the same sense of devotion to me. They are the keepers of my trust and the protectors of myself and my family. They are those whom I keep as well.

Loyalty for me is meaningless without mutuality. That is the change. Far in the past, loyalty was a given. It was one's predetermined fate based upon the blood into which one was born. Now is is a gift of choice. We have the freedom and the power and choose now where our loyalties will lie. But all the same, loyalty will always have a grave importance. It is the glue that holds humanity together. For better or for worse.